Life beyond the third standard deviation

Wave After Wave They Came

I have a guilty pleasure.

Sorry, that makes it sound slightly exciting which it isn't really. Just a little sad. You see I find I get a great sense of well being from being able to walk around a miniature or model village.

Especially when the place is a familiar one like Polperro (left). I get into this frankly, ridiculous process of recognising all the different bits and relating them to their original, larger counterparts. On a bad day I try to engage others with idiot statements like "Oh my god! That bit there is that road with the shop on it!". Or the what-must-be frustrating "Do you recognise that? Do ya? Do ya?". And no, sadly I don't "get bored in a minute" as my wife would hope.

The whole thing takes on a new, terrible level of thrill (for me) if the village is equipped with some form of working railway - this is often the point where any realism is quickly lots as we don't actually have a full size working railway anywhere in Britain. This excitement rises to orgasmic if you can actually sit on the trains (note: I actually audibly 'eeked' as I wrote that)

So what is it that I enjoy so much about these places? Frankly I'm f**ked if I know. Maybe it's the chance to act out my favourite Godzilla based moves (although the village owners are rarely happy to allow me destroy large chunks of their site even with my supersonic-monster-screech). More likely it has something to do with all those fabulous models from the Gerry Anderson programs from my childhood. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that, like most things, model villages are just another poor substitute for the fact that 'Space 1999' isn't real and I'm not an astronaut.

Once more, I've shared too much.

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme,

Did a little camping in Scarborough and for just a short while it didn't rain.

Fortunately I was able to report this oversight to Mother Nature herself and normal, drizzly service was quickly resumed.

Bacon

I like bacon though.

Bacon Flavoured Crisps

Frazzles. Don't like 'em. As a kid, even the smell made me retch. My adult experience of them is little better. I've come to the conclusion that liking Frazzles (or their own brand equivalent) is a character weakness.

Just thought you should know.

The Correct Way to Fold a Cat

Smurfs. Remember them? Weird. All blue and stuff. With hats. Like die-washed leprechauns whose hats had been bleached and beards shaved. And who didn't live in Ireland. I don't remember anything about pots of gold either. Sorry, crap analogy really. Re-read the above but replace leprechauns with wolves and change some other stuff to make it a better analogy. I think I've (you've) made my point.

Anyway here's the question, did they wear clothes?

Here's your answer.

Don't know why I bother really.

DNA Profiling and Headline News

I just noticed that, in the US at least, Google (like you need a link) News now allows people to publish opinions and comments along with a story. Initially, however this will be only those individuals participating in the story as explained by Google here;

"We'll be trying out a mechanism for publishing comments from a special subset of readers: those people or organizations who were actual participants in the story in question. Our long-term vision is that any participant will be able to send in their comments, and we'll show them next to the articles about the story. Comments will be published in full, without any edits, but marked as 'comments' so readers know it's the individuals perspective, rather than part of a journalist's report."

OK so how will this work for, say, some story about a man whose cat was rescued from a tree. In this situation I take it they would allow either the man or his cat to comment on the story. Perhaps, also the fireman who rescued his cat would also be allowed to have his say as would his mate who held the ladder and any neighbors who made tea for the man in his hour of need. Pretty clear group of well defined roles within this tale. But what happens if there is a story about elections in Pakistan? Surely, if the election is fair, in this situation everyone in Pakistan was a participant and can comment on the story? And how do they check if you really are the participant. Will the police collect names, addresses and Google News username and passwords from people involved in reported incidents so that Google can check later? Perhaps they will take DNA at the scene and Google have some kind of profiling system in place.

I need lunch.

It's so crazy, it just might work

Many of the greatest films ever made began life as novels. In contrast, many of the worst films ever made began life as computer games. However, all this may be about to change....

A small work of genius.

Maintaining a Proper Sense of Proportion

So we are off to Mars again [bbc story] this time with the Phoenix probe which aims to land on the northern plains of Mars and dig down into the soil in search of frozen water. The lander is the usual high tech coffee table affair, complete with all manner of limb-like appendages sticking up and down with at least one of these having the prestigious job of calculating in exactly which direction up or down actually is. Many of the others are used for sampling all manner of particles and waves and a few can be operated remotely, by overweight geeks sat at desks as untidy and confusing to look at as their beards, back at NASA. Sound familiar? Yes - sorry didn't mean to put words in your mouth but I'm not gonna hang around for you to reply in order to continue my post. Anyway you might have said 'No' - very familiar. Now don't get me wrong I love everything and anything to do with space. However, we have seen quite a lot of this kind of activity from NASA in the past few years. Probes and stuff I mean. I'm sure there is a lot of very interesting science being done but it does rather lack pizazz. I mean I really thought things were looking up when NASA sent Spirit and Opportunity a few years back, at least they can move around, albeit at the speed of a snail on a salt plain. I'd hoped we might see something a little faster this time or even something that could fly in the martian atmosphere, like a glider. But no. For the layman it is the same old, same old.

I wouldn't be surprised if NASA had once again estimated the life expectancy of Phoenix to be about 1 minute 37 seconds so that when it lasts for a whole day they can start jumping around saying this is 'far more than they could have ever hoped or dreamed for, far outwaying expectations' and that this once again proves they should get more money.

Maybe NASA has just got the whole science-entertainment balance weighted a little too much in favour of science. Wouldn't it be great just to see some representative from NASA explaining to a BBC science correspondent that the last experiment Phoenix will perform will be to use the digging arm to scratch a classic 'cock' shape drawing (see below) into the martian soil whilst playing 'Flight of the Bumble Bee' using cleverly constructed modes of vibration across it's solar panels?

I doubt this will happen, but maybe soon Richard Branson will get his shit together and start to make space a little more hip. He may want to fly a giant balloon around mars, albeit to the sound of Tubular Bells No. 9.

Live wrong and phosphor Earthlings.

Labels: NASA, space, tabasco sauce

Mine all mine!

My precious... shame it won't ever be this clean again!

Had to cut nearly 3 inches of the seatpost 'cause of the split frame design.

Tomorrow, the hills.

I doubt I'll be posting much for a while....

Labels: mtb

My New Bike Part 1.

Yes I know I haven't really blogged for ages but you know what's like, I barely phone my mum so don't take it personally. Anyway I'm very excited today as the bike shop phoned to say my bike is being built and will be ready this afternoon! My old bike has definitely seen better days, none of which occured this century. Anyone who knows me will probably be glad it's finally ready if for no other reason than I might stop banging on about how f**king wonderful it will be when I finally get it.

I'm able to fund my new bike purchase through the wonderful Cycles2Work scheme a government initiative to get people cycling more, the bottom line being you can buy a bike for about 50% of the full price - no VAT, pre tax & NI payments. This makes a significant difference especially when the full price is knocking on the door of 2 grand.

Anyway mine will be ready in just a few hours. For those interested it is basically a Specialized Stumpjumper FSR Comp upgraded to an Expert without the Brain Fade rear shock but with Talas RLC's on the front. Pictorially it looks a bit like...