Maintaining a Proper Sense of Proportion

So we are off to Mars again [bbc story] this time with the Phoenix probe which aims to land on the northern plains of Mars and dig down into the soil in search of frozen water. The lander is the usual high tech coffee table affair, complete with all manner of limb-like appendages sticking up and down with at least one of these having the prestigious job of calculating in exactly which direction up or down actually is. Many of the others are used for sampling all manner of particles and waves and a few can be operated remotely, by overweight geeks sat at desks as untidy and confusing to look at as their beards, back at NASA. Sound familiar? Yes - sorry didn't mean to put words in your mouth but I'm not gonna hang around for you to reply in order to continue my post. Anyway you might have said 'No' - very familiar. Now don't get me wrong I love everything and anything to do with space. However, we have seen quite a lot of this kind of activity from NASA in the past few years. Probes and stuff I mean. I'm sure there is a lot of very interesting science being done but it does rather lack pizazz. I mean I really thought things were looking up when NASA sent Spirit and Opportunity a few years back, at least they can move around, albeit at the speed of a snail on a salt plain. I'd hoped we might see something a little faster this time or even something that could fly in the martian atmosphere, like a glider. But no. For the layman it is the same old, same old.

I wouldn't be surprised if NASA had once again estimated the life expectancy of Phoenix to be about 1 minute 37 seconds so that when it lasts for a whole day they can start jumping around saying this is 'far more than they could have ever hoped or dreamed for, far outwaying expectations' and that this once again proves they should get more money.

Maybe NASA has just got the whole science-entertainment balance weighted a little too much in favour of science. Wouldn't it be great just to see some representative from NASA explaining to a BBC science correspondent that the last experiment Phoenix will perform will be to use the digging arm to scratch a classic 'cock' shape drawing (see below) into the martian soil whilst playing 'Flight of the Bumble Bee' using cleverly constructed modes of vibration across it's solar panels?



I doubt this will happen, but maybe soon Richard Branson will get his shit together and start to make space a little more hip. He may want to fly a giant balloon around mars, albeit to the sound of Tubular Bells No. 9.

Live wrong and phosphor Earthlings.