Nobody asked me but...
...yes, the moderately mad do always appear to be walking off as they talk/rant/dribble at you. I realised this just this morning as I drove passed a bus stop where a young couple were clearly being subjected to the philosophical ramblings of a particularly energetic community care client. In the 7 seconds it took us to passby he gave the appearance of leaving on no less than 4 occassions. Each time dashing their hopes by returning to continue his undoubtedly incomprehensible monologue on 'what the fecking bastards are trying to do to me now'. Why do all such "local characters" style themselves on the mannerisms of Detective Columbo?
It is a fact of modern living in the UK that most bus routes come equipped with a nutter. Typically male, in his mid to late 30's but with the appearance of someone much older. Although not a complete lunatic, this individual lives on the border of sanity. Whilst some of his time is spent inhabiting a mental state that is the psychological equivalent of sheltered housing close to normalsville, you can be sure that whenever you encounter him he is midway through an extended vacation on the Costa-del-Bonkers. Dressed casually in a dusty old pair of trousers and a jumper (no shirt) embossed with a pattern that would even have looked a bit overboard in the 80's. A combination often given a personal touch with a neckless photo ID with a picture of the loon that could literally have been taken 30 seconds earlier, further supporting the hypothesis that he does, indeed live in those clothes. His hair is heavily tussled in exactly the way Mr Darcys wasn't and is either greying or flecked with his own dried semen. In another dimension he would cut quite a dash, turning heads. In these 4 it's more likely to be stomachs.
My experience is that you will more often encounter the bus nutter at a bus stop, rather than on a bus. I'm sure the appropriate statistical analysis for this has already been published in a relevant journal, such as "The Royal Statistical Society Journal of Nutter Distribution". It has also been my experience that the presence of the nutter is often correlated with a long delays in the bus service. My paranoid self imagines a backlog of buses building up just around the corner as passengers and drivers crowd around a specially installed screen fed live from a secret camera hidden at the stop. Raucous laughter as they watch my increasingly desperate attempts to humor my volatile cabaret artist.
Do you think they all have a bus route specifically allocated? Do they have 'turf wars' over the best ranting patches? (in Manchester the 192 route is particularly over crowded). Perhaps if any of them have blogs I could ask. I suppose I could do a search for http://busnutter.blogspot.com. Although, thinking about it do I really need to look very far to find a rambling ranter? Hmmm, I wonder if I still have that electric blue Pringle jumper upstairs...
It is a fact of modern living in the UK that most bus routes come equipped with a nutter. Typically male, in his mid to late 30's but with the appearance of someone much older. Although not a complete lunatic, this individual lives on the border of sanity. Whilst some of his time is spent inhabiting a mental state that is the psychological equivalent of sheltered housing close to normalsville, you can be sure that whenever you encounter him he is midway through an extended vacation on the Costa-del-Bonkers. Dressed casually in a dusty old pair of trousers and a jumper (no shirt) embossed with a pattern that would even have looked a bit overboard in the 80's. A combination often given a personal touch with a neckless photo ID with a picture of the loon that could literally have been taken 30 seconds earlier, further supporting the hypothesis that he does, indeed live in those clothes. His hair is heavily tussled in exactly the way Mr Darcys wasn't and is either greying or flecked with his own dried semen. In another dimension he would cut quite a dash, turning heads. In these 4 it's more likely to be stomachs.
My experience is that you will more often encounter the bus nutter at a bus stop, rather than on a bus. I'm sure the appropriate statistical analysis for this has already been published in a relevant journal, such as "The Royal Statistical Society Journal of Nutter Distribution". It has also been my experience that the presence of the nutter is often correlated with a long delays in the bus service. My paranoid self imagines a backlog of buses building up just around the corner as passengers and drivers crowd around a specially installed screen fed live from a secret camera hidden at the stop. Raucous laughter as they watch my increasingly desperate attempts to humor my volatile cabaret artist.
Do you think they all have a bus route specifically allocated? Do they have 'turf wars' over the best ranting patches? (in Manchester the 192 route is particularly over crowded). Perhaps if any of them have blogs I could ask. I suppose I could do a search for http://busnutter.blogspot.com. Although, thinking about it do I really need to look very far to find a rambling ranter? Hmmm, I wonder if I still have that electric blue Pringle jumper upstairs...
posted by AntToeKnee at 4:32 PM
1 Comments:
When I lived in Manchester, Finglands buses were always good for a few windowlickers, but my favourite bus nutter of all time used to get on the 166 from Thorpe Hesley to Sheffield. He wore his duffle coat like a cloak (ie hood up, his arms not in the sleeves) and would sit upstairs at the front reciting incoherent poetry very loudly (quite a trick, being loud and incoherent at the same time) on the verge of tears. His large beard was permanently matted and he smelt of camembert cheese. Apparently his madness was the result of a broken heart. That fails to account for the smell though.
Post a Comment
<< Home